It's THAT time of the year!

I really think that Christmas has become too commercialized over the past few years and it is that commercialization that causes me unnecessary stress. Not only do I obsess over the perfect gifts to give my family but I also have to worry about coming up with ideas for them to give to me. So, it's really two Christmas shopping lists I come up with...everyone else's and my own.

Of course, coming up with my wish list is always harder because I don't like to think about it and end up procrastinating until the last possible minute. Not only does this stress out the people who have no idea what to give me but it usually involves me naming off little stuff that I don't really want or need. I am very fortunate to live my life because there are very few things that I want that I don't just go out and get for myself. Of course there are some things that I want that I don't have but those items are WAY too expensive for anyone (but B) to get me as a gift. In reality, B is so practical and would never indulge me by buying those things but I have a 10 year plan that will allow me to collect these items over time so I don't worry about not having them now.

This year it is important that I think about all the things that I have been grateful for in 2008. It has been an emotionally trying time for me and my family and I think I need to remind myself of all the good things that has happened.

1. My husband, mom, dad, and brother for getting me through this year with my sanity even when they had their own hurt, grief, and anger to get through.
2. My grandmother for proving to me that the world did not cease to exist when it felt like it would.
3. My grandfather for still thinking of others when he was dying himself. I miss you more than anyone else realizes!
4. My extended family for being there with us when we needed them. For comforting my loved ones while I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to do the same for them.
5. My co-workers and boss for giving me the time and freedom to spend those last few weeks in July with my grandfather and grandmother. Thank you for letting me physically be where my thoughts and heart already were.
6. The company I work for which provided me the technology and flexibility to really work anytime from anyplace. Having that freedom made it easier for me to take care of my family.
7. My friends for being there and thinking of me and showing me that I had people outside of my family who loved me. I've never been one to have many friends but the ones I do have are fiercely loyal and I would go through hell and back from them.
8. My Fez for somehow understanding who needed the most attention in the days that followed my grandfather's death. It was amazing to me to see the way he provided silent strength to my grandmother when we brought her home from the hospice house that morning. He never left her side. I had never seen him be like that with anyone else but he knew she needed something and he was willing to be that something. He spent days going from one person to the next...just being there...and that just reinforces that I will never have another dog like him.
9. The ability to laugh and reminisce about the good times without feeling overwhelmed with sorrow. Keeping the memories alive keeps the spirit alive.
10. My home. Having a place to retreat to when I felt like I was going to break, a place to start new family traditions when old ones seemed just to hard to face. A quiet place to be...the home I always wanted to have with B.

I have so many things to be grateful about and I look forward to 2009 and all the surprises that wait for me there. Merry Christmas!

Tired of all the drama

It's only Tuesday but I already feel like this has been the longest week ever. The family drama is really starting to wear on my nerves and I can't help but feel like it is going to get worse before it gets better.

What makes me so mad is that none of this would be happening if my grandfather was still around. This all started the day we buried him (July 27th) and the longer it goes on, the more the anger and hurt build. My mom says that what is going on is between her and her brothers to work out but they aren't working it out. As much as they think this doesn't affect the others in the family, it does. Unfortunately, the kids are forced to pick sides and who's side are we going to be on if not our parent's? Bruce will be sentenced on 11/20 and I'm pretty confident he will be remanded directly to jail. No one knows for sure how long he is going to be away. Maybe being locked up is the best thing for him. I hate it for my grandmother and for mom and Jerry because he's going to go away without this being resolved.

I'm so angry with grandmother right now because I've seen her play favorites for the first time in my life. This wasn't something that was such an issue when my grandfather was around. I blame her for all of this drama too. She's stirring it up and taking sides...rather than stepping up as the leader of the family and putting a stop to it.

Ugh, I'm dreading this weekend and the holiday season....

Stuff, stuff, and more stuff

Frankly, I didn't think Sunday would get here soon enough. I had been waiting all week long for the next episode of TrueBlood! Last night's episode didn't disappoint...but personally, I thought the first 2 minutes were the best. There are two things I will complain about though. First, another week has gone by without further developing the storyline with Eric! Second, I now have another 6 days until the next episode comes on. What really sucks is that there are only 5 more episodes left in this season...which also is the number of chapters in the first book. I REALLY don't know how I'm going to be able to make it once the show is on hiatus and the next book isn't due out until MAY!

I was able to keep busy this weekend though. We ran some errands and I bought a KVM switch for my desktop computer. Yesterday, I got my work area cleaned up and installed all the stuff on my desktop that had been recently formatted. I installed a new game too and spent a lot of time trying it out. I watched 8 episodes of Angel from season 1...mainly hoping that the distraction of a non-Bill/non-Eric vampire would somehow make me forget how long I had until the next episode. It didn't help.

We're going back to Abingdon this weekend. Mom's chicks should be arriving on Wednesday and she's super excited. Matt will be staying with us next week. I've also got some family drama going on that I'm going to have to deal with. I'm so tired of all this crap going on within the family since my grandfather's death. Hopefully, grandmother and I will have some time to talk this weekend.

TrueBlood: All Flavor No Bite

I've been watching the new series on HBO ever since the first show aired. Immediately after seeing that premiere episode, I went out to Borders and purchased the first 2 Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris.

Let me first just say that my ability to read and comprehend is a little different than most people's ability. When I say that I can read a book rather quickly...I ain't lying....I mean quickly. It's not that I'm skipping over things in the books either! You could give me a quiz on the material later and I would pass with flying colors. How fast am I talking about here? Well, the final Harry Potter book arrived on a Friday evening and I was completely done with it by Saturday evening. I even slept 8 hours....and ate.....and watched a little TV. It drives B insane because I'm the best customer for Barnes and Noble or Borders. We got me a library card because it would cost to dang much to keep buying new books. Ok, now on with my entry....

I read the first 2 books in a day and....B doesn't know this because I was still reading on them 4 days later. What he doesn't know is that I was reading them for the third time. Immediately, I was hooked and went out to Amazon to buy the next three books but they took forever to arrive. Luckily, I still had the tv show to keep me entertained during this wait! The books arrived and were quickly devoured in 2 days...hey, I do have other work to do! I picked up the last three and Barnes and Noble at the end of the week and finished them over the weekend.

So, I've read all 8 books...several times a piece. I've read them in order many times and now I'm reading them in reverse order. I'm obsessed! The next book comes out in May and that seems like forever!

So, back to the show. The books and the show are very similar except with some changes with Tara and Lafayette. Jason is a little different too. Having seen the episodes before reading the book, I picture "book Bill" and "book Eric" and "book Jason" just as they appear in the show...I don't care what the book description says!

I love, love, love this show and these books and am super excited that HBO picked it up for a second season!

The only problem is me trying to figure out if I am more in love with Bill or with Eric....but luckily, I found a picture with both of them so I can just sit and stare at it!



Damn!

In case I get bored, I've also got the individual pictures too.

Bill


Eric

I've been busy....I'm sorry!

I can't believe that it has been a month since I posted anything to my blog. I've had so much going on and I just really haven't felt like writing about stuff.

Our dining room table was delivered and looks amazing. I'm so happy with the purchase...now if I could just get B's dad to come get the old one! I finally got my Monet replica framed and it is a huge piece! Right now it's setting on the mantel of the fireplace. Here is what it looks like though:



B actually got me the painting 2 years ago. He sent this art company a picture of the Monet painting and they do a museum quality replica of it using the same medium that the original is done in. It took them 12 to 16 weeks to finish it but the end result is stunning. The real Monet painting has very special memories for us because it is a painting that actually hangs in the NC MoA and that is the first art museum I ever visited...and B was the one who took me. *sigh*

While he was on his railfan vacation, he picked me up a beautiful photograph of Seattle with Mt. Rainer in the background. I picked it up from the frame shop last week and hung it on the wall of our breakfast nook (directly above the dog's bowl...he like art too!).

While we were home this weekend, my grandmother gave me the "End of the Trail" print that B and I got my grandfather several years ago. It was extremely important to him that I have it once he passed away but I wanted grandmother to keep it as long as she wanted to. Here is the print:



Right now, I have it sitting on the dining room table but I am going to hang it in our bedroom this weekend. It's important to me that I put it somewhere that I will see it everyday because it was definitely something he looked at everyday.

I will write more later because I still haven't covered Thanksgiving 2008, TrueBlood, and The Southern Vampire Series that I've been reading. Like I said, I've been busy!