Thursday, April 08, 2010

2nd Beta Results - 14 dpo

I just spoke with my doctor and my Beta this morning was 200 which is a great number.  They like to see the number double every 48 hours which mine definitely did.  In fact, my doubling time was almost 36 hours.  Our first OB scan is 4/26 at 8AM and this will be when we get to see a heartbeat and they will determine how many babies are in our future.  I feel great about today's numbers and I'll feel even better after we see the heartbeat!  Today is a great day!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

We're PREGNANT! - 12 dpo

After the trigger shot that I took on 3/23, I was concerned that I wouldn't ovulate...I mean, it had been a damn uphill battle just to get me to ovulate so I wasn't 100% convinced that a single HCG shot was going to do it for me.  I brought up my concerns when we went in for the IUI and Angela (the nurse) said that I had to take a leap of faith and just trust that it did what it was supposed to do.  So, I begrudgingly did as she asked and just took that jump.

Of course, we then hit the horrible 2ww and I will admit that I was a little obsessive about analyzing any and all "pregnancy" symptoms.  As we got closer to our Easter trip home, I became more and more convinced that the IUI didn't work and I was definitely not pregnant.  All things considered, I was ok with that...we could always do another round of injections and I was going to insist that they give me two trigger shots this next time instead of just the one.

Saturday was spent having an Easter picnic at Sugar Hollow and was full of people asking me if we were pregnant yet.  Saturday night, when I wiped with the toilet paper, it was but I pushed the thought out of my head.  Sunday morning, there were a couple of other instances of the pink spotting and I was beginning to wonder if it was possible that I was experiencing implantation bleeding.  My friend, J, told me her implantation bleeding story and it sounded really similar but I didn't dare to hope.

Monday morning, I woke up from a horrible dream in which B got us banned from a Harris Teeter for stealing a pregnancy test.  Before I even realized what I was doing, I had PIAC and dipped an internet test strip.  Three minutes later, it had a faint second line.  My hands were shaking as I called B and he immediately wanted to see pics of this "positive" test.  Unfortunately, in the pictures it was so faint that you almost thought you were imagining it.  I decided to take another brand around 9:30 and it was without a doubt positive so I took it and went to the Triangle to have lunch with B so that he could see.

On the way home, I purchased a pack of digital tests and waited for B to get home to take it.  Two minutes after putting the cap on, it popped up the single most beautiful word in the world: PREGNANT.  We couldn't deny it now.....we were pregnant.

Monday evening was pretty much spent on the phone telling our family and by 10 PM I was ready for bed.  Tuesday morning dawned (after a very restless night of sleep) and I PIAC and dipped a non-digital test that I had also purchased Monday.  Three minutes later....only one line, my heart fell through the floor.  Refusing to admit defeat, I pulled out the extra digital and dipped it.  Two minutes later....PREGNANT.  I went back to the remaining non-digital and tested line.  Two internet strips.....extremely faint lines.  B said not to worry, to call the doctor, have the blood test, and relax.  As soon as he left, I went to four different places (most stores are not open at 6:45 in the morning) and bought three different boxes.  I went back to the house and dipped again.  The non-digital one was super faint but the two digital test both said PREGNANT.  I was scared and worried and had to wait until 8:20 for me to reach someone at the doctor's office.

The appointment was made for me to come in for the blood draw at 10 AM and I was home by 10:30 AM.  At around 11:30 AM, Angela called with the results.....................I was officially pregnant.  Levels are below:
  • HCG - 79
  • Progesterone - 29
I go back in on Thursday for a repeat blood test to measure the doubling time and will go in on April 22nd for the first u/s to look for a heartbeat (and find out how many I'm carrying).  My due date is December 16, 2010.

This journal's focus will be shifting in the coming weeks from a summary of my life with infertility to a journal of my life as we make plans to welcome our little one at the end of the year.  It has been a difficult I never thought we'd see the end of, but I'm so glad to be moving on to the next phase of my life with B and "Wilson".

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I finally get a break!

B and I had ANOTHER ultrasound today and were given the go ahead to do the trigger shot tonight.  My E2 level was 454 which is much higher than it was on Sunday.  We've got four dominant follicles which makes B nervous but I'm just excited to have that many targets for his "little men" to hit.  It could only increase the probability of us getting pregnant right?

My last shot for the next few weeks is tonight and I couldn't be more excited.  B has to be at the doctor's office at 7:30 on Thursday to do his thing and then I go in at 8:30 for the IUI.  I've already taken that day off so that I can spend the day relaxing and sending positive vibes to the free floating eggs.  Fingers crossed because I could be a mom before this week is out!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

This is gonna be a long one.....

Tonight, I went and looked at the last time I posted on this thing and I was surprised that I hadn't posted anything since the start of my very first cycle.  Reading through my entry, it was obvious that I was excited and was determined and confident that this was going to be our answer.  I wish I could flash back in time and visit myself that night to give me some advice that I would need to repeat to myself for many months after my last post.

What would my wonderful advice be??? It would be to tell myself that this was actually going to be a long, long marathon to even get a response and that there were going to be times after ultrasounds and bad news that I would want to do nothing but lay in bed and cry until I couldn't shed one more tear and it was ok to do fact, I needed to do it.  I would tell myself that over the next 5 and a half months, I would be learning so much about myself as a person and I would be tested a hundred times and face constant bad news and many, many hurdles to see if I was really committed to THIS journey.  I would tell myself that I was about to experience something that would so fundamentally change who B and I were as a couple and despite all of the tears that would be shed.....nothing, and I mean nothing, would bring us closer together than this bumpy journey.  I would tell myself that there would be so many days that I would feel all alone in this but there would always be someone that would reach out and give me the confidence and strength to keep going even when it seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel was getting dimmer and dimmer.  My last piece of advice would be to never, ever, ever give up....even when the doctors and nurses were gathered in a circle whispering as you came out of the exam room....because the time WOULD come when everything would suddenly fall into place and the one thing that had always seem to be so far out of reach would somehow fall right into your lap.

It took us 5 and a half months, countless subcutaneous injections in the stomach, legs, and arms, many painful intramuscular shots in the leg, countless hours with my feet in stirrups while being prodded with a wand, many times being stuck and restuck just to draw a vial of blood, and many, many tears to finally hear the words that I never thought would be said....I have activity.  This cycle started on 3/4/10 with injections beginning 3/5/10.  On 3/16/10, I had an ultrasound that still showed no activity and the doctors were starting to talk about stopping.  This was our last cycle.  There was going to be no chance for us to even try to get pregnant.  After begging to increase my dosage and insisting that I wanted to keep doing the shots in the backs of my arms, they agreed to up my doses to 20 units of Lupron (twice a day), 225 IUs of Menopur (once a day), and 225 IUs of Gonal-F (once a day).  They didn't expect anything to happen because I was already on a "large" dose (compared to most women) so they were only giving me until 3/19/10 before doing another ultrasound and calling off the cycle.  They didn't think this was going to work.

The morning of 3/19/10, I was apprehensive about the appointment because I really didn't know how I was going to handle the bad news that this journey was over.  Going to the doctor was no longer fun and I usually was full of angst the day before the appointments and then spent most of the actual appointment day crying over my stupid, horrible ovaries.  3/19/10 turned out to be one of the best days of my entire life....I finally, finally, finally responded to the medication.

On 3/16 my uterine lining was 3.2 mm and most of the follicles were still in the pre stage that they seemed to stay in all the damn time.  My estrogen level was 55.  Things sucked......badly.

On 3/19 my uterine lining was 6.2 mm and I had three HUGE (for me) follicles with the biggest one measuring 15.6 mm.  They didn't even check my estrogen because it was obviously higher.  The doctor was speechless...totally surprised....I was sobbing happy tears and B was over the moon.  In fact, the doctor was concerned that I was going to have to be dialed down some! Who knew that they'd ever have to consider LOWERING my dose!!!!

On 3/21 we went for another ultrasound and it was the first time since November that I was actually excited to go to the doctor.  I continued to show improvement in this visit as well.  My uterine lining was 8.8 mm, the biggest follicle measured 17.7 mm, and my estrogen level was 239.7.  Holy crap batman! I'm so close to being at the right levels for the IUI so we go back on Tuesday for another scan and it looks like we're doing our very first IUI on Thursday or Friday.  I never gave up.  I may have lost hope for a while but I never gave up.  Miracles can happen.  And that would be the ultimate advice I would have given myself back in November.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm o.k. to go.....

Listening to: Soul Meets Body by Death Cab For Cutie

I had my ultrasound this morning and I've been given the go ahead to start the medicine tonight! My next ultrasound is 11/25 at 9 AM and we'll be looking to see how the follicles are growing to determine how many more days of shots I need to do before the IUI.  Needless to say, I am way excited and am totally expecting today to drag along.

On a completely different topic, I bought the ham and turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner next week.  Looking at the list of food that will be made, you would think I was cooking for 20 people...but no, it's just 6.  We've got company Friday to Sunday and then more company next Wednesday to Sunday.  There are a lot of things that I need to get done around the house for next week's company but I'll be lucky if I can get most of the items marked off the list.

UPDATE: I took 2 Letrozole pills (5mg total) at 6 PM.  No side effects so far but that might not mean anything.