This says it all...

I've added a vacation counter to the right hand side. Obviously I can't wait for it to get here!

Is vacation here yet?

Since my last post, I've had lots of company! My brother had a six day break from his job and came down to stay with us. He arrived on June 19th and stayed until the evening of the 24th before heading back to Richmond. We had a blast as usual...I hated to see him go! Larry and Amanda came the evening of the 20th and left the night of the 22nd. B's mom and sister will be staying with us tomorrow and Sunday and my parents are coming down July 3rd so that we can go to OBX on July 5th. Wow......that's a lot of visiting!

I was originally planning on going home this weekend but mom had back surgery on Monday and has been in the hospital ever since. She didn't think she would be in there that long and is feeling pretty frustrated. Since it is now Friday and she's still not home, I've decided to stay in Holly Springs for the weekend because it would be nearly impossible for her to get any rest if I were home. She's only got about a week to prepare for vacation so she needs to recover quickly!

In other medical news, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection on Tuesday. She scheduled me for a CT the very next day. Yesterday, I got my results back and next Tuesday I go see an ENT. Turns out I have another "very large" mass in my left sinus cavity. I'm afraid the only option is to have it surgically removed and that isn't something I am really looking forward to. The recover from my septoplasty was horrible and took forever. Of course, I just can't leave it in there because the last one I had was removed with the septoplasty so this thing has grown to this size in 4 years. I just really dread what the doctor is going to say.

On to happier topics...vacation is almost here! I can already smell the salty air and feel the ocean breeze! I packed tons of Benadryl in the first aid kit this morning. I'm so hoping that I don't have a repeat of the Keys vacation where I was highly allergic to something and spent almost the whole vacation doped up on allergy medicine in bed...watching game shows and soaps. Of course I did get a reprieve when we went to the Dry Tortugas because of it's lack of trees and plant life...but I got sea sick on the boat out and threw up all over the side. Ahhh...I love my vacations!

Ok, enough chatter...time to get back to more important things!

I don't know what to say...

Mom went by the dialysis center yesterday to talk to the doctor. Ultimately, it is her decision about when, where, and how my grandfather will spend his last days. She has the power of attorney and she (along with one of her brothers) has his best interests at heart. The doctor gave mom a prescription for a patch to put on him every day to calm him down and hopefully make him less combative and angry. He's had success with it on two other patients...and since it isn't a pill, we have a better chance of actually getting him to wear it without complaining.

Mom spent some time with him while he was having dialysis and he was in a good frame of mind. He was happy to see her and was laughing at her stories. It was a pleasant change from the day before when he was extremely confused. Granddad told mom that he wants to stop dialysis and that he is tired. Mom asked him if he thought he could continue until Larry and Amanda's wedding (August 2nd) but he didn't think he could wait that long. She asked him if he could at least wait until she had her back surgery so she could help out and he more or less agreed to wait until after the surgery. So, it buys us 2 to 3 weeks.

Mom and I talked about it last night and we both agree that we would hate to have this happen right before Larry and Amanda's wedding. It isn't about us being selfish but more about them wanting him there. Mom seems to think that if they can get him to wear the patch and she has some more conversations with him, she can convince him to wait until after the wedding.

It's obvious that he is ready to let go which means I need to be ready to let go too. I hope that the coming weeks pulls our family back to the closeness that we used to have instead of pushing us further and further apart. My mom has to do what is best for him and anyone who loves him would know that "doing whatever it takes to keep him alive" is not the right thing to do.

Vacation can't come soon enough!

Well, I managed to survive May and June has been just as crazy. Vacation is officially 2 weeks and 4 days away. I've been putting off getting my lists together because I've had so much stuff going on but I'm starting to panic!

We went to Charlotte for the weekend to hang out with Jason and Jennifer. Rand and Amy came over Saturday night so we did what we do best...had lots of beer and wine, ate pizza rolls at 1 AM, played a pathetic game of 64, and was generally loud and obnoxious. I will say that it was nice to sleep in my own bed Sunday night...but I do miss hanging out with them.

I'm putting the whole baby thing on hold again....I've got some issues that need to be resolved first and I'm feeling like it's never going to happen for us. I've been off BCP since October 2006 and I've kind of lost hope at this point but I'm working on myself and am setting goals so we may be back on the baby wagon by the end of this year.

My grandfather is not doing well. He hasn't taken any of his medicine for the past 3 weeks and it is really starting to show. His dementia (which wasn't even noticeable before) is creating lots of problems. He's becoming more and more combative and verbally abusive to those around him. I'm still going home about 2 times a month but I don't see this side of him when I'm there. Mom is meeting with the doctor today to discuss options. The general consensus from most of the family is that this can't go on. It's always supposed to be quality over quantity and right now the quality sucks. Larry and Amanda are getting married August 2nd and the plan is to take him off dialysis shortly after that. So...we have a deadline...and I've looked at my calendar so many times in the last few days to see how many more weekends I have with him. B, Marshall, and Bill are going to Seattle 8/30 to 9/6 and I'm so afraid that B is going to end up having to cut his trip short. He's been wonderful about it though and said he would come back without any hesitation. Once we stop the dialysis, I'll be up in Virginia until the end and B is totally supportive of that decision. So...I've got at least 4 more weekends....I need to make them count!

On a happier note, Matt will be down tomorrow night through Monday evening. It's his 5 off break and I'm super excited because I haven't seen him in forever. No big plans have been made...we're just going to hang out and not make many plans.

Enough of the book now...until later!