Mom went by the dialysis center yesterday to talk to the doctor. Ultimately, it is her decision about when, where, and how my grandfather will spend his last days. She has the power of attorney and she (along with one of her brothers) has his best interests at heart. The doctor gave mom a prescription for a patch to put on him every day to calm him down and hopefully make him less combative and angry. He's had success with it on two other patients...and since it isn't a pill, we have a better chance of actually getting him to wear it without complaining.
Mom spent some time with him while he was having dialysis and he was in a good frame of mind. He was happy to see her and was laughing at her stories. It was a pleasant change from the day before when he was extremely confused. Granddad told mom that he wants to stop dialysis and that he is tired. Mom asked him if he thought he could continue until Larry and Amanda's wedding (August 2nd) but he didn't think he could wait that long. She asked him if he could at least wait until she had her back surgery so she could help out and he more or less agreed to wait until after the surgery. So, it buys us 2 to 3 weeks.
Mom and I talked about it last night and we both agree that we would hate to have this happen right before Larry and Amanda's wedding. It isn't about us being selfish but more about them wanting him there. Mom seems to think that if they can get him to wear the patch and she has some more conversations with him, she can convince him to wait until after the wedding.
It's obvious that he is ready to let go which means I need to be ready to let go too. I hope that the coming weeks pulls our family back to the closeness that we used to have instead of pushing us further and further apart. My mom has to do what is best for him and anyone who loves him would know that "doing whatever it takes to keep him alive" is not the right thing to do.
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