Monday, December 10, 2007

14 Days Till Christmas!!!!!

With only two weeks left until the holidays are upon us, I've found myself becoming more obsessive with list making. There is the list of things to do before this Thursday, the things to do on Friday, the weekend dinner plan, the weekend grocery list, the did-I-get-all-my-relatives-a-present list, the Christmas card list, the baking list, the packing list, the Fez packing list...all I get done are lists!!!!

I just keep telling myself...this too shall pass...this too shall pass.

Friday, December 07, 2007

17 days till Christmas!

As I sit here in my office and look out the window, I wonder what is in store for me in 2008. I've finally committed to a date to take my CAPM exam. My fingers are crossed that I pass it on my first try.

Matt is in a relationship with someone new. She seems very nice so we'll have to wait and see what happens. He was getting pinned this morning so his training is over! Yeah for him! Mom and dad have a new puppy and its nice to hear the excitement and happiness in her voice for once.

Christmas is around the corner and it's time to start counting my blessings for this year and setting goals for 2008. Have you made your list?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

You Know Who You Are (A letter written but never sent)

I stumbled across your MySpace page one day when I was searching it for people from my past. I don't know why I put your name in the search box; I can only assume that it is because you used to be an important part of our lives. I was surprised to see that you're pregnant and that you had moved away from Abingdon. I tried to be happy for you but have often felt sadder for Matt because he loved you and those kids as if they were his own. I don't know what kind of father Seth is, but I do know that no one would have been a better parent than Matt. Looking at the pictures, I was amazed to see how much the kids have changed in the past year and I realized how much I/we have missed them.

Ever so often, I would come back to your page and look at the photos. I keep thinking back to the last time I saw you, when we were preparing for Grandmother and Granddad's anniversary party. I remember helping with the chocolate strawberries and thinking that this must be what it's like to have a sister. I was so happy for you and Matt, happy that you were going to be a part of the family, and happy that life appeared so great.

Of course we all know what happened next, and I won't rehash it but I will say that it affected all of us but Matthew had it the worst. I'm not going to pretend that what Matt did was right, he knows he screwed up. On the other hand though, I don't think Matt should have to shoulder the blame on his own. Time has passed and I've had time to think. Even if Matt had walked the straight and narrow, I think you had already checked out of the relationship. At the time, I was angry that Matt had been so hurt but now I see it as a blessing that it ended when it did.

I've been reading your blog for the past week and wondering what you must be feeling. I feel bad for your kids because they've lost another role model, I feel sorry for you because you're about to bring a new life into this world and are facing what is supposed to be on of the happiest days of your life without having Seth there.

Today, I read your most recent post and it is what has driven me to write. There is a line where you call Seth one of the "smartest, talented, gifted, loving, charming individuals on this Earth" and I just wanted to tell you I disagree. Seth can never take that title from Matthew. Nowhere in this world would you have found another man that would love you and your kids so fiercely that the lines of biology would have been erased. Matthew would have never left you almost 9 months pregnant. Seth doing that just reinforces that he's not the smartest or most loving individual on Earth.

Yes, a year has passed. Matt has moved on, he has his scars but he's happy. He left Abingdon and is making a new life for himself in another part of Virginia. He's making new friends, and he's looking for that one person to spend the rest of his life with. He's looking for the one who will love all of him...even his faults. He also has seen your page and knows about your pregnancy. Even after everything that has happened, he still loves you but he's finally ready to let someone else inside his heart. Personally, I think it's ironic that Seth seems to suffer from the very same issues that you left Matt for. You don't deserve Matt and that is the one thing I'm sure of. Karma really is a bitch, isn't it?