Weekend Update

Our friends decided to stay home this weekend rather than come stay with us. I'm sad that we're not going to see them but I also feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know that at some point I'm going to have to face them but I need more time...luckily, I've got it! I sent Matt a text message this morning and told him that if he wanted to come down this weekend he could. He's working so he won't get the text until this evening when he is getting ready to leave. I don't know if he'll come on down or if he'll go back to Abingdon. If he decides to go on to Abingdon, I won't be upset...it's not like B and I can't find something to get into this weekend.

The weather is supposed to be absolutely wonderful so maybe we'll go over to Harris Lake and do the 5 mile loop with the dog. I'm sure B is going to want to go look at trains this weekend too...not so sure I want to do that but I can always stay home.

Our dining room table is being delivered today...I'm super excited. They should deliver it after 2pm and I still have to get the old table and chairs out of the way. I'm also looking forward to Monday because our picture is finally going to be framed...so B and I will need to get some stuff to hang it. I also want to go to Lowes this weekend and see what kind of Fall flowers they have and maybe get some to plant in our front flowerbed.

This weekend is starting to look up!

Holding my breath...

Let me say this one thing first. After having a normal period in July and August, I was excited to think that September would bring another timed period. I was obviously wrong to get so excited. I'm on cd34 with no period in sight...and I am feeling so frustrated and down.

Trust me, I'm not holding my breath waiting for my period to show up. If I were...I'd probably pass out first and kill off some brain cells due to a lack of oxygen. No, I'm holding my breath waiting to see what this weekend will bring. We have very dear friends who made the decision to try and start a family and were lucky to get pregnant the first month they tried. They told us of the pregnancy in August and I AM happy for them. None of what I'm feeling now is directed towards them...but I'm really having a hard time with the cosmic hand I've been dealt. We've been trying for almost 2 years and I can't even have a normal period....they try the first month and get pregnant. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair.

These friends are coming to visit this weekend and I'm really struggling with it. B didn't really ask me what I thought about having them over and I just don't think I'm ready to see them and hear all about the pregnancy. I feel like it is too soon...and it's very possible that I wouldn't want to see them during the entire pregnancy. Wait...it's not that I don't want to see them (I do)...it's more along the lines that I don't want to have a pregnancy rubbed into my already aching wound. I don't feel like anyone really understands me...especially not B. I'm just so frustrated and if they do come to visit this weekend...I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I don't want to make her feel bad for being here and being pregnant but I don't want to spend the whole weekend feeling sad and depressed. It's just too soon...

In the meantime, I'm going to make more of an effort to get out and walk and watch my diet. I've lost 10 pounds...and that makes me feel great.

Busy, busy, busy

I can't believe that September is half way through! The weather people are forecasting cooler temperatures for the area which makes me hopeful that Fall is finally starting to come to town. The trees don't change until October or November but the cooler temperatures and drier air are definitely worth getting excited about! With the cooler days, B and I will spend more time outside on the weekends...doing the 5 mile loop at Harris Lake and exploring Eno River State Park.

All has not been lost though...even though the weather may have been hot and muggy, the stores and malls have been wonderfully cool! I've been on a spending spree lately and have been been working on doing some minor decorating. In addition to the bedroom set we bought at the end of August, we purchased a 46" LCD tv for the bedroom...new lamps for the bedroom....an ottoman for my vanity table....some fabric and paint to refurbish my sofa table and turn it into the vanity table I mentioned above. I also bought a dining room table, ordered custom framing for my Monet replica, and bought a Wii.

Gotta run for now...but will definitely be writing more this week 'cause I've got something heavy weighing on my chest and will need to vent.